LiFe jUst lIKe a bOx Of cHOcoLAtE!! ^_^

Well..just bits n pieces of my life!!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Really Touching Stories *sOb Sob*

It's a cold February night.
People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.
It's so cold today.I
'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots.
Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people.
Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy."
One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief.
"Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"
"You are fortunate." Another nurse says.
"Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."
"You mean Dr. Shu?"

Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.
"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"
"Of course I do." A nurse shudders.
"I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."
They are talking about how I was last year.
They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.
"You can't blame Dr. Shu.
If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."
"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."
The two nurses are too late.
I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.

"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"
Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me.
I awkwardly step out.
The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush.
Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.
"I'm waiting to go home."
I pretend that I didn't hear anything.
"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work.
It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!"
She waves goodbye.
"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway.
Even though no lover is waiting for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.
After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat.
I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day.
At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair.
Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you."
I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name.
I don't know why I named the cat Christine.
Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me,
but her eyes are complaining about my severity.
Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him. "Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"
He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."
"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.
"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is.
"You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting."
I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail.
Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.
"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??"
He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.
"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"
"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."
"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him.
"One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."
"What's that drama called?"
He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.
"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.
"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"
"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry.
"That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri."

I wonder if he knew who Nana was. "Nana, I know her.
A Greek singer with really expensive albums."
"Her voice is worth it."

Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.
"Whatever." He glanced at his watch.
"I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes.
The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years,
from 1901 to 2000.
Each generation was portrayed by the same actress.
The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.
"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.
"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!"
I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee. As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online. Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met.

Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me. "Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??" "Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued. "Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross. That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.

"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us. "We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him. "My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes." "Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior. I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning.

After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms. "I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way.

Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other. Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other.

We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together.

After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone. "Hello." He picked up the phone. "I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure. "You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it." He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again." "Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other? "Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight. I'll eat dinner by myself." "Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy." "I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks. Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for?? I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.

After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work. Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument. "Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney. "What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood. "Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die." I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped "Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm. But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy. I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth. "It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them. "He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him. "Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body. "Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism. And that day happened to be Valentine's Day. Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day. They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way. When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish. Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore. Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day. Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen. I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail? I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today. We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP. I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these? With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem. "Hwei." That's my name. "Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose." I received it and it's so beautiful. "You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel." Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant. "I know I always make you mad by the things I say." Good that you're admitting it. "But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you." I waited so many years for those words. "And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money." You already have enough money. Why did you need so much? "So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore." Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours. "Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?" That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again. As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting. The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice. Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for, and how you gave that love to me...." The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away. "Will you marry me?" When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard. Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today. So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will." I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love." Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will." I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected. I answered you. What about you?

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Touching STories

He fell in love with her at the very first sight.
She looks like an angel from heaven.
He gathered all his courage and started a conversation with her.
Slowly, they became best friends.
He never confessed his feeling for her as he was afraid of rejection.
He had sickness and might face death at anytime.
He was afraid that his confesion would affect their friendship.
There was once he pretended to be her boyfriend to help her with her boyfriend.
When he acted in front of her and her boyfriend,
he told her boyfriend everything from his heart.
But to her,it will always be an act.
He chose to remain silent.


She had some feelings for him, but never voiced out.
After all, he never said anything and she already had a boyfriend.
When he pretended to be her boyfriend, everything he said sounded so true.
She hoped it is.
But he'll never know that's how she felt.
Maybe he only treated her as his best friend.
Then, she chose to appreciate the friendship they have.
She kept quiet.

They stopped contacting each other as they were both busy.
Fate brought them together 2 years later.
An 'angel' revealed their feelings for each other.
They'd wasted 2 years just because they never have the guts to confess.
They were happy together but happy moments never last.


He met an accident and in coma.
He only wants to see her happy.
He loved her and wants to remain just as a memory to her.
She regretted but it's all too late.
She had to go on somehow.
All he wants is to see her live her life to the fullest, keep him and the past as memories. Whatever happened then, live or die, his love for her never dies.


tell your loved ones you love them today..don't regret tomorrow..
love is not only made for lovers..it's also for friends who loves each other better than lovers..

remember, chances don't always come twice..
appreciate what you have..
no matter how busy life is, always find some time to love and to be loved..


my love,
when one day you ask me which is moreimportant to me,
my life or you.
I would answer my life and you would just walk away not knowing that my life is you..

I don't know how we met or why we were meant to meet or why we became close.
But all i know is if God gave me a choice between heaven and you,
i'd choose you..I love you!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Ponder Upon ^_^

Why are old lovers able to becomefriends?
Two reasons; They never really loved each other,
or they love each other still.

You are what happened when I wished upon a star.

If I tell you I love you
can I keepyou forever?

And if I tell you I miss you
can we always be together?

When you say that you love someone,
you're not always right.

But when you feel that you love someone,
you know that it's true!

Don't hug me, it only makesme want to never let go.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Only If....

For everyone whom you love..

If i say i cant live without you,
can you always be by my side?

If i say i miss you,
will you be here for me?

If i say i cant get enough of you,
will you spend more time with me?

If i say i am happy,
will you share the moments with me?

If i say i am bored,
will you spare a minute for me?

If i say i am sad,
will you cheer me up?

If i say i am lonely,
will you accompany me?

If i say i love you,
will you love me back?

:O)

Sunday, October 03, 2004

STRESS TEST

Do you worry about the future?

Do you sometimes have trouble falling asleep?

Do you often reach for a cigarette, a drink, or a tranquilizer in order to reduce tension?

Do you become irritated over basically insignificant matters?

Do you have less energy than you seem to need or would like to have?

Do you have too many things to do and not enough time to do them?

Do you have headaches or stomach problems?

Do you feel pressure to accomplish or to get things done?

Are you very concerned about being either well-liked or successful?

Do you perform well enough in life to satisfy yourself?

Do you get satisfaction from the small joys or simple pleasures of life?

Are you able to really relax and have fun?


Scoring: 1 point for a yes answer to 1-9 or no answer to 10-12. A score of 4 or more suggests
that you may be under significant stress.



COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT STRESS

We always know when we are under stress. Often people become so accustomed to stress that they become unaware of it. Many of us suffer the debilitating effects of stress even though we don't feel tense. Stress can change the way you treat others or damage your body even in the absence of feelings of frustration or anxiety.

Stress is something which affects only those who have high-pressure lives. Many ordinary individuals experience the constant stress of worry, leading unfulfilled lives or of not being what they would like to be.

The only way to lower stress is to change your surroundings or to take medication. Changing your outlook on life is the most reliable and effective way of reducing stress. Stress comes from the way we perceive the world, not from the way the world really is.

Stress is caused by events that happen to us. To paraphrase the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, it is not events in themselves that cause our distress, but rather the views we take of events.

Emotions have a will of their own and cannot be controlled. We can change our feelings by first changing our behavior or by changing our thinking. For example, getting some work done can keep us from worrying about it. Creating a new understanding of a situation can make it less threatening or stressful.



TIPS FOR REDUCING STRESS

Learn to plan. Disorganization can breed stress. Having too many projects going simultaneously often leads to confusion, forgetfulness, and the sense that uncompleted projects are hanging over your head. When possible, take on projects one at a time and work on them until completed.

Recognize and accept limits. Most of us set unreasonable and perfectionistic goals for ourselves. We can never be perfect, so we often have a sense of failure or inadequacy no matter how well we perform. Set achievable goals for yourself.

Learn to play. You need occasionally to escape from the pressures of life and have fun. Find pastimes which are absorbing and enjoyable to you no matter what your level of ability is.

Be a positive person. Avoid criticizing others. Learn to praise the things you like in others. Focus upon the good qualities those around you possess. Be sure to give yourself credit and appreciate your own good qualities, as well.

Learn to tolerate and forgive. Intolerance of others leads to frustration and anger. An attempt to really understand the way other people feel can make you more accepting of them. Accept and forgive yourself also.

Avoid unnecessary competition. There are many competitive situations in life that we can't avoid. Too much concern with winning in too many areas of life can create excessive tension and anxiety, and make us unnecessarily aggressive.

Get regular physical exercise. Check with your physician before beginning any exercise program. You will be more likely to stay with an exercise program if you choose one that you really enjoy rather than one that feels like pure hard work and drudgery.

Learn a systematic, drug-free method of relaxing. Meditation, yoga, or any of a variety of relaxation techniques can be learned from various accredited teachers and licensed psychotherapists.

Talk out your troubles. Find a friend, member of the clergy, faculty member, counselor, or psycho-therapist you can be open with. Expressing your "bottled up" tension to a sympathetic ear can be incredibly helpful.

Change your thinking. How we feel emotionally often depends on our outlook or philosophy of life. Changing one's beliefs is a difficult and painstaking process. There is little practical wisdom in the modern world to guide us through our lives. No one has all the answers, but some answers are available.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

FACTS AND HINTS ABOUT HUGS

There is no such thing as a bad hug;

there are only good hugs and great hugs

Hug someone at least once a day and twice on a rainy day.

Hug with a smile;

closed eyes are optional.

A snuggle is a longish hug.

Bedtime hugs help chase away bad dreams.

Never hug tomorrow someone you could hug today.

You cannot give a hug - without getting one.

Friday, October 01, 2004

The Truth bout Gals ^_^

1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually is not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in any way.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.

26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.